I am a terrible Lady Boss.
I take that back. Sometimes I’m terrible being the boss of women in my employment.
When I give direction to a man, I usually get the desired outcome. There might be push back, but even if we have a difficult conversation, it usually leads to better results.
With people of my own kind, I find that it takes a super strong woman to work with other super strong women.
I had to stop training doulas in my birth business because the staff were too difficult to manage. The women felt my expectations were too high, yet I couldn’t ask for less, because to me, it was wrong to abandon a mom in labor—for ANY reason—and especially because the labor was taking too long.
With the exception of the females on the city council, Funk has always been really good at managing both sexes. The problem with the council was that while Funk was the mayor, the women weren’t his staff.
I’ve learned a lot from my husband about overseeing people, and have gotten better at it. I’ve had several small businesses with women as my primary staff, and since I’m loyal, many have been with me for years now, even if we had a rocky start.
From Funk I’ve also learned how to frame directives. Still, I get lip more often from women than I do from men, and how frustrating is that?
This doesn’t happen to my husband, so I think the difficulties I encounter have to do with me being a female and him being a male. To test this theory, when problems are brewing with the women in my employment, I’ll have Funk ask them exactly the same thing that I’d just asked a few weeks prior, and where he receives a “Well sure, I can do that,” I had received a “WTF, I’m not doing that.”
The main takeaway from owning my own business is that the worst sexism exists between women.
And now, to use what I’ve learned from my Baptist preacher friend, Reverend Modest Miles, I’m going to repeat that statement for emphasis.
The worst sexism exists between women.
Because that right there is what’s keeping woman down. What’s keeping us oppressed.
Here’s to you if you’re a TRUE feminist. A strong, confident woman who knows how to think and feel and work with people of her own kind. Because it’s you who will empower other women. Who will help us evolve to greater heights. Help us be recognized for the power we are. And I’ve lived long enough to know that it’s possible to live power and results in kindness.
For the rest of my kind, Woman Up!
(And yeah, I'm ready. I know I'll get some nasty pushback on the "worst sexism" statement. But to me, if we can't have the difficult conversation, how will we ever resolve the problem?)
The photo: Trying to walk my talk.