“Gloria, keep up your drumbeat. It produces a positive effect, I’m sure.”
That’s a response I received to a recent newsletter.
Since I actually live inside of me—I can tell you one thing—those words don’t seem attributable to me.
The person I was for most of my life was shy around strangers. Anxious about too many things. Didn’t speak her mind. And definitely didn’t feel like she could “produce” anything, much less a drumbeat that led anywhere.
Most people have always viewed me the opposite though. Outspoken. Fearless. LOUD.
If I am, it’s only because I’ve forced myself to become that. Decided to stop being a pansy, to reach for a New and Better Me.
Still, I never thought I could actually BE those things. And yet here I am, sixty-one years old, and I’m beginning to step into the woman that other people see, and who Funk always knew was there.
And so can you.
You just have to pretend you are, until you really are.
Pretending can be a good thing if it leads to something better. To see it on paper that I should keep up MY drumbeat was jarring. Until it wasn’t. Which was like a second later.
Because I do have a drumbeat. I hear it in my head when I write. It can be seen in my love for my children. Because to this day, whenever I see one of them doubting themselves, I beam energy into their soul to remind them how brave and strong and good they are. I did the same for my birth students, and for the children that I’ve stolen from the universe. And I guess I’m carrying the practice forward with these newsletters and posts.
Here’s to you if you hear the beat too. Especially if you’re bringing it into the world to produce a positive effect. Because I, too, am sure it will.